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FAQ |
How does one choose the right therapist?
When is it time to seek help?
How does the process work?
What is your theoretical approach?
How long does it take?
What is the cost?
What are the
common excuses for not going to counselling?
How does one choose the right therapist?
Choosing the right therapist for you depends largely upon the kind of work you want to do as well as finding someone that you feel you can trust. While having experience is important, it is also important for you to be able to form a bond with a therapist in such a way that they will be able to ask the right questions so that they can better help you unearth your issues.
- Qualifications
- Experience
- Empathy
- Confidentiality
- Ability for the Client to Connect with the Therapist
Seeking help is a sign of strength rather than weakness. Unfortunately our culture places great emphasis on independence and going it alone. Not everything can be achieved alone, and it takes insight to recognise this fact.
Some things that you may be feeling that tell you it's time to seek external help:
- If you feel as though you are on an emotional roller coaster
- If you are feeling no emotion at all, or very little emotion
- If you feel like you can't move forward, or feel blocked in some way
- If you find that you are getting into unusual amounts of arguments, especially with your close friends and family
- If you would like to understand yourself better
- If you feel like you have been struggling with a particular issue and you are going round and round in circles
2. We set up an appointment that fits our time schedules on a weekly basis
3. An assessment is conducted whereby you discuss the predominant issues that you believe have brought you to counselling
4. I provide an atmosphere that is conducive to enabling you to talk about the presenting issue in a way in which you feel comfortable and open
5. I will challenge some of your preconceived assumptions thus enabling you to expand upon the way in which you think and enable you to realise alternative options in how to be
What is your theoretical approach?
I predominantly work in a psychodynamic systemic approach, meaning that I ground the issue by looking at how the previous generations in your family faced similar situations. What rules they created for dealing with certain issues and understand what patterns are now emerging. The family structure acts as a blueprint for our own behaviour. By gaining better understanding about our blueprints we can then create change. Just as one can not change the structure of a house without understanding the foundation and what keeps the house from collapse, so too one can not create major changes in their lives if their blueprint is not known about.
The psychodynamic part indicates that I work on unearthing the unconscious self to help you become more aware of things that have been hidden away from your awareness.
I like to use an eclectic mix of theoretical approaches depending on what the client brings to therapy.
Other approaches that I might use include:
Existential - For meaning of life issues, and in dealing with responsibility
Narrative - For when clients are having a difficult time
externalizing their emotions, and re-story their experiences
This part depends on you. Some clients feel better after a few short sessions, however it is recommended that the client feel a sense of completion when deciding to discontinue therapy. Generally couples therapy takes between 3- 6 months.
The cost for therapy is very competitive and determined according to a sliding scale.
What are the common excuses for not going to counselling?
Blokes don't do counselling
Wrong. They sure do. The majority
of my individual clients that have approached me have been men
I have too much pride
Pride doesn't make the pain go away.
Pride is an emotion that keeps us from moving forward. It is a great excuse
though
I've lived this long without it, what can it possibly do for me?
If you've lived this long without it
and you still haven't made much progress in life, where are you? If your
intention is to get through life and just pay the bills and have a few children
along the way, then therapy is definitely not for you. However, if you would
like to live a more emotionally satisfying life, think again
I can't afford, I'd rather spend my money
going out once a week
Therapy can actually help you to learn about alternative ways of being so
that you don't spend money willy-nilly and you may even learn more creative ways
to earn more money. It can be viewed as an investment
My friend went to counselling and it didn't
seem to work for her
How many sessions did your friend
actually attend counselling? If you are actually expecting progress, it may take
some time depending on your issue. In addition to time, it actually does take
some effort on your part. One can not go to a counsellor and expect them to tell
you what to do. You must put in some of the initiative yourself and be open to
the experience
I'm too scared to learn about my past
The only way to deal with one's past is
to learn from it. As the saying goes, "Those who have not learned from history
are destined to repeat it." If you always do what you always did, you will
always get what you already got. In order to create positive changes in your
life, you must understand what it is that you have already been doing,
understand what has motivated those behaviours, so that you can make changes